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Pages: Another question for everyone!! Please help me! [1]
Author Topic: Another question for everyone!! Please help me!
harville

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2011-01-30 12-06-25

Another question for everyone!! Please help me! I had my order to show cause hearing today in which my husband showed up without a lawyer and I had a lawyer. My lawyer is asking for $1400 per month in support (No I dont want any Alimony) my STBX makes over $100K per year. My question is I have a moral delema. I know that with all the bills he has (The mortgage on our house that is up for sale, an apt in OK where he is now working, ext...) that even though he make a lot of $$ he cant afford that amt. Right now I have the in NY and have full custody and he hasnt been paying anything. Should I care that he cant afford to pay that amt and his bills or should I go with it since that is what NYS mandates?? I almost feel like I should take some of the $$ and give it back to him to help pay the mortgage... What would you do???? I filed for the divorce due to finding out he was gay and he also was very verbal with me and not nice!
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merk

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2011-01-31 9-49-10-

PONTIAC DAD if you are on please respond! I always like reading your advice :-)
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hamad

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2011-01-31 10-18-16

How much do you need in order to pay your bills? You should definitly be fair. It is his money that he worked for and even thought they say you should get that much- you shouldn't. And you should be proud of yourself for knowing that it is too much and not being greedy and try to live off someone else. Good luck!
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some

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2011-01-31 19-32-56

ok whatever you do, don't fall into the paying him back trap. i am sorry to say, that i was guilty of that in the beginning, but mostly out of fear...he could afford it. he loved his money very very much so i didn't want to take something from him that he loved that much. support is for your so by paying it back, it's like taking money away from them...and it's illegal that's why it's good to know that we don't have to ask for a certain amount of support...it's a preset amount based on income. i also believe that their bills etc. are taken into consideration too, right? isn't that why you have to fill out the worksheet with all your monthly expenses?
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staubs

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2011-02-01 4-06-59-

he doesnt have a lawyer yet so he hasnt filled out a sheet with his income. I did fill out with mine but I think they went on a formula made by New York State. I see what you are saying Josiejay I just dont want to ruin his life (Although hell why not he ruined mine!)
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naik

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2011-02-01 6-22-48-

Understand how hurt you are But hurting him this deeply will also affect the . This could backfire with you relationship with the . Once the house is sold, will he be better able to handle bills? If so, do something time-limited.
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sperry

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2011-02-02 16-14-17

Thanks Pontiac Dad Thats what I thought too like get a court order that maybe right now he pay me $800 a month instead and once the house sells he pay the full amount? I just dont want that to backfire if he says then that I was able to live on $800 per month and he doesnt want to pay the full amount. Right now I am living with my parents and working 35 hrs per week when they watch the for free. Soon I will have to get a FT during the day job and have daycare costs and thats when it will get tough for me! Thanks! Any more advice?
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Pittsburgh

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2011-02-02 20-01-24

Had no idea I was becoming famous
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Osama

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2011-02-03 3-34-04-

Yes u r famous Pontiac Dad I always read your postings :-) Its good to know there are people going through some of the same things. I hate this already but had to do it for me and the . I couldnt be married to a liar, cheat anymore!
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edes

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2011-02-04 13-16-23

can i have your autograph pd?!?!?!?!??? :) EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! me- screeching jumping up and down fan!!!!!!!!!!
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diede

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2011-02-27 19-16-47

Signs for JJ *smiles*
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sima

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2011-05-30 8-21-08-

The first thing you need to consider . . . is the law is an ass. Just because that is what the schedules say, doesn't make it right. It is now down to a choice of just how far into slavery you are willing to sell your 's father. You can do the moral thing, or you can take the gov't handout. Only you can decide that . . .
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sofranko

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2011-11-09 13-23-45

Take him to the cleaners Dont be nice. It gets you no where. Play tough, and get what you deserve.
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rott

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2012-03-11 12-58-43

there has to be a way that is legal and fair and just....the formula for figuring out support isn't meant to break any i sure hope you find a solution. i'm still trying to find a way to legally not receive support but it's so complicated..have to remarry etc. best wishes to ya :)
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Ardine

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2012-11-03 19-09-17

Gender slavery is alive and well . . . I see. You disappoint me Marin
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osmar

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2013-09-24 4-10-56-

Sorry, but I am in the situation I am tired of the high moral road. I did not cheat, I did not do anything that was abusive to my wife, other than fall out of love. Honestly, I wont say I am getting completely screwed in the divorce, but I pay a ton in CS and I have my x/x. I am tired of people treating others like crap and getting away with it.
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iman

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2013-10-25 10-19-28

If using the force of gov't . . . literally through the barrel of a gun, to get what you think is right then you should expect the other party to do the same. Sorry but gov't is the problem, not the solution, the only moral route is through yourself.
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arminie

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2014-04-11 20-53-17

Morality is self proscribed You choose what is moral or not, and it is judged by the society in which you live. You are judged by your actions, through both the government's eyes as well as your community's. I am not saying my actions or moral or not, but I certainly have given away the cleaners in my divorce in order so that I can walk away from my ex. I am willing to pay money to get out of a relationship that I was not happy in for a long time. Is that moral?
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himel

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2015-07-16 6-18-34-

That is . . . your choice for you al Not societies choice to impose on others. I do not mold my morality to the whims of others because it is expedient for society. All I ask is that you refrain from doing so as well - and if not, I have a good command of my sovereign rights and how to employ them if need be.
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chrispen

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2015-11-04 3-21-03-

my situation is reversed I am thewho pays the CS. All I am saying is I am wiling to pay the amount in order to have "peace". I pay the amount the California guide line state, and dont see it as the government forcing me to act or not. It is my choice to pay. There is an alternative, and it is a choice to decide which to do. My choice is that I pay for the benefit of my even when I know my wife is fine financially (she lives with her parents in a beautiful house with an amazing view of San Francisco and I know her parents take good care of her). Paying CS is the moral choice, as it benefits my . Does that make sense?
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